Old age

A 54 year old woman had
a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.          

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"              

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."        

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she
had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.                    



After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.     
         
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"           
                 
             

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
           
               

God replied: "I didn't recognize you!!!"

Funny Cricket Pictures

 

 

 

 

 

Roles in Heaven

 

Roles in Heaven: Brahma Systems Installation Vishnu Systems Administration & Support Lakshmi Finance and Accounts consultant Saraswati Training and Knowledge Management Shiva DBA (Crash Specialist) Ganesh Quality Assuarance & Documentation Narada Data transfer Yama Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant Chitragupta IDP & Personal Records Apsaras Downloadable Viruses Devas Mainframe Programmers Surya Solaris Administrator Rakshasas In house Hackers Ravan ! ;Internet Explorer WWWF Lakshman Support Software and Backup Hanuman Linux/s390 Jatayu Firewall Dronacharya System Programmer Vishwamitra Sr. Manager Projects Valmiki Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document) Krishna SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle ) Arjun Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him) Abhimanyu Trainee Programmer Draupadi Motivation & Team building Bhima Mainframe Legacy System Duryodhana Microsoft product Written in VB Karna Contract programmer Dhrutarashtra Visual C++ Gandhari Dreamweaver 100 Kauravas Microsoft Service Packs and patches

 

Study on Wife & Girlfriend

A study by a smart guy says: 

A Wife is like a TV 
A Girlfriend is like a MOBILE 

At home you watch TV, but when you go out you take your MOBILE 

When you have no money, you sell the TV and when you have got money 
you change your MOBILE 

Sometimes you enjoy TV, but most of the time you play with your MOBILE 

TV is free for life,but for the MOBILE , if you don't pay, the 
services will be terminated 

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old! 

But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and very portable 

Operational costs for the TV are often acceptable, but for the MOBILE 
it is often high and demanding 

TV has a remote, MOBILE doesn't 

MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk and listen),but with the TV 
you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)